i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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