O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
