White coat. Heels.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
two words: eviction party
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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