dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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