is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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