you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
