I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
