i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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