He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
