It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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