At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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