Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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