I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize