hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
