I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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