Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
