You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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