we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
