Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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