Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize