so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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