I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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