He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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