Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
