MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
