Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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