i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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