That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
