Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize