im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
