So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
