didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
