Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
