Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
