i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
