I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
