Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
