Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
