i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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