Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
