So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
