eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
