Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Define "chronic" masturbator.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
