I'll bet she douches with gravy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We got so high we made milksteak
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
