the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it glows. i had to have it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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