so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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