That's when you crack a 10am beer
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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