please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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