okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Randomize
