I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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