i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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