WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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