Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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