You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize