ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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