Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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