It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
