she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize