So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize