I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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