he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
