I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
