We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
