quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
