I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize