I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
