I'd wear matching sweaters with you
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
